Am I imagining all of this??

Am I imagining all of this??

I don't remember exactly what I felt first, or when I felt it.  It began with little things.  I was known for being a little bit of a hypochondriac, so I wrote off alot of the sensations I felt as just being in my own mind.

Shortly after the birth of my third child, I felt... different.  I felt like things were crawling under my skin on my back (must be nothing).  I felt headaches and confusions.  I remember calling the anesthesiologist that performed my spinal during my cesarian section.  Could something have happened to me when my spine was punctured? No, i'm assured this is not related to anything they did.  I push these strange feelings out of my mind.  

Fast forward to December 2011.  I'm in bed, watching some television and trying to turn my ever moving mind off so I can get some rest for work tomorrow.  But something feels terribly wrong.  I'm moving, but I'm not.  I'm not dizzy per se, nothing is spinning.  I feel more like I'm on a houseboat, the entire world swaying below my feet.  I jolt out of bed and realize I need to hold onto the walls to keep my balance.  This can't be in my mind.  I call my parents and ask them to stay with the kids while I go to the emergency room. 

In the emergency room, they perform NO tests  No blood work.  No x-rays or CAT scans or MRIs. The doctor who sees me briefly looks in my ears and insists they look a little inflamed.  Go home and follow up with an ENT.  You probably just have an ear infection.  They send me home without  antibiotics.  I'm confused but somewhat relieved.  I'm too tired by the time I'm released to go to work the next day.  When I see the ENT they insist that it's a vestibular disturbance, and that if they move my head around enough I should be good as new.  That didn't really help.

After this feeling doesn't go away, I see a neurologist.  She listens and agrees with the vestiblar diagnosis.  I complain that one of my legs is bothering me too.  Restless leg syndrome.  I insist on an MRI.  She agrees and prescribes one... without contrast.  I later beg my primary care physician to reorder the MRI with contrast and he does.  He also thinks that I'm fine.  Migraines.  They can cause vertigo.

Fast forward a few months.  My headaches are bad. My vision is disturbed.  I see light impressions constantly (remember when you stare at a bright light a look away and still see it?  I have that all the time, from dimmer lights).  My vertigo remains.  My doctor orders a blood test for Lyme Disease.  POSITIVE!  Have I found what ails me?  Finally, I feel a hearty sense of accomplishment.  Happy to have Lyme.  I make my appointment with an infectious disease guy. 

After more tests, he determines it's NOT Lyme disease.  Must just be a fluke, those blood results.  Which I find funny because I was tested three times over the course of a few months.  What else could produce a positive for this I ask?  Eh, Lupus, but you don't have that.

I feel like I'm losing my mind.